Why does that bother me so much?  Am I jealous?  Of what?  Of her quicker mind, speak your mind, pay no mind, straightforward, direct, clear thinking, powerfully present, in the moment, while I'm over here distracted, redacted, reacted and ruminating about who knows what - while life, unfolded - is nowhere near.  Is it her confidence, competence, clear headedness - why does that get under my skin?  Is it for what i lack - what i want, need or aspire/desire to be(come)that makes me lash out, strike out - reach back, react and run away, rather than show up, grow up and level up MY life?

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